5 Dumb Reasons People Use to Avoid Dating
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Before my current relationship, I had a long and storied dating history. But you know what? It would have been even longer if I hadn’t come up with a million and one (questions – we did it again, ninjas) reasons not to date certain women. Sure, nobody should cut anybody back JUST because they only have one leg and were still trying to do the Stanky Leg in the club, but I believe in ambition, not insanity. Of course, if when you go out you run into a list of women that rivals Akeem and Semi’s foray into the Queens women-scene, then you should just run like hell and don’t look back.
Word to Paul Williams.
So, back to the reasons. I’ve often had a good reason to chuck a knucklehead, but alas, I’m only human. I’m flesh and blood – a man. This means I’ve also come up with bupkus. But I’m not the only one. I’ve heard some dumb arse reasons as to why a relationship couldn’t be pursued. So I figured today, we’d examine some of the dumbest common reasons and sort of debunk them. You see, I, Panama Jackson, believe in love, since love, actually is, around us everyday.
1) “I met him in the club, I can’t date him.”
I’ve always thought this was a wee-bit stupid as a reason not to date somebody. The thinking is that you met dude in the club so he’s only interested in your physical, not the mental. The reason this is dumb logic is this: as men, we’re ALWAYS initially interested in your physical as opposed to your mental. If I meet you in aisle 4 of Trader Joes while you look at organice snow peas, I’m still checking out your snow peas first. Note: I have no clue what a woman’s snow peas would be. End note.
Also, YOU’RE AT THE CLUB TOO DUMBARSE. If I’m good enough to be at the club, then I can’t assume others AREN’T now can I??? I hate dumb logic. Almost as much as I hate UNC.
Go ‘Nova.
2) “Man this girl is damn near perfect. She just isn’t hot enough.”
Oh how I hate when cats I know tell me that they met the perfect chick, or would have if she was a little bit cuter. Now, as a man, I understand how important aesthetics are; however, if you meet a woman who can hold her own in the Jay vs. Nas debate, knows Jordan’s scoring average in 1997, and is an all around great person…as long as she ain’t on some Panama level (you know, a 3) then she just might be wifey material. Plus, everybody looks like crap at 75 anyway. Seriously, short of Eartha Kitt, when was the last time you saw a hot 84 year old? Exactly.
3) “This dude drinks with his pinky up in the air…I can’t date him, he might be gay.”
Yeah, I got nothing. Don’t date him.
4) “He’s nearly perfect, but he’s just too short for me.”
Look, unless you have a height obsession, understand that some of the best men out there are going to be vertically challenged. I think the range goes from like 5’4 to 5’10 (and 5’10 and really that short, it just ain’t tall). Men who aren’t tall fall into one of two categories: they’re either really great people since they had to be the cool dude and develop actual pesonalities to compete with the athletes or they have Napolean comlexes. If you run into the nice (but short) guy, he might actually be the guy of your dreams – ya know, assuming you dream of things like Being John Malkovich.
5) “That girl wears too much makeup.”
This is a very good reason not to date somebody. You never want to risk meeting a second person because the first one takes off her face. Word.life.son. In undergrad, I knew this chick who was uberbangin’, except she wore so much makeup that I was afraid to hug her. Wore enough makeup on one day to supply the cast of the Thriller video and The Lion King.
Rar. Two snaps around the world and, rar, again.
So my fellow VSBers, what are some terrible reasons you’ve heard not to date somebody? Hell, what are good reasons not to date somebody. Share.
Related tags: How To Predict When A Man Will Seek Out Sex